Hurts so bad

I loved real, real hard once
But the love wasn't returned
Found out the woman I'd die for
She wasn't even concerned
I tried, and I tried, and I tried
To keep her in my life
I cried and I cried, and I cried
But I couldn't make it right
But I, I loved the young woman
And if you've ever been in love
Then you'd understand

What you want might make you cry
What you need might pass you by
If you don't catch it

And what you need ironically
Will turn out what you want to be
If you just let it

See, I thought this feeling
It was all that I had
But how could this be love
And make me feel so bad?
Gave up my power
I existed for you
But whoever knew the voodoo you'd do?
But I, I loved the young woman
And if you've ever been in love you'd understand
What you want might make you cry
What you need might pass you by
If you don't catch it
And what you need ironically
Will turn out what you want to be
If you just let it
What you want might make you cry
What you need might pass you by
If you don't catch it
And what you need ironically
Will turn out what you want to be
If you just let it

When it hurts so bad, Why's it feel so good?

Ode to Sunshine

A face of stone, was shocked on the other end of the phone
Word back home is that you had a special friend
So what was oh so special then?
You have given away without gettin at me
That's your fault, how many times you forgiven me?
How was I to know that you was plain sick of me?
I know the way a nigga livin was whack
But you don't get a nigga back like that!
Shit I'm a man with pride, you don't do shit like that
You don't just pick up and leave and leave me sick like that
You don't throw away what we had, just like that
I was just fuckin them girls, I was gon' get right back
They say you can't turn a bad girl good
But once a good girl's goin bad, she's gone forever..
I'll mourn forever
Shit I gotta live with the fact I did you wrong forever

It's fucked up girl..

Free

Lord it's so hard, living this life
A constant struggle each and every day
Some wonder why I'd rather die
Than to continue living this way
Many are blind and cannot find
The truth cause no one seems to really know
But I won't accept that this is how it's gon' be
Devil you gotta let me and my people go
Cause I wanna be free, completely free
Lord won't you please come and save me
I wanna be free, totally free
I'm not gon' let this world worry me

The Sweetest Thing......memories

The sweetest thing I've ever known
Was like the kiss on the collarbone
Soft caress of happiness
The way you walk, your style of dress
I wish I didn't get so weak
Ooo, baby, just to hear you speak
Makes me argue just to see
How much you're in love with me
See, like a queen, a queen upon her throne
It was the sweet, sweet, sweetest thing I know,
It was the sweet, sweet, sweetest thing I know
I get mad when you walk away (don't walk away)
So I tell you leave, when I mean stay
Warm as the sun dipped in black
Fingertips on the small of my back
More valuable than all I own
Like your precious, precious, precious, precious dark skin tone
It was the...AhI tried to explainAh...but baby, it's in vain
Speaking on my mother's phone
The touching makes me think I'm grown, (you ain't grown)
Sweet prince of the ghetto
Your kisses taste like armoretto
Intoxicating, oh, so intoxicating
How sad, how sad that all things come to an end
But then again, I'm, I'm not alone

The Problem is Choice

Mark Twain once said that "twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do." I've always been a huge fan of Mr. Twain, not only do we share the same birthday but I feel we share the same sense of humor and ideals. that being said, the previous quote is always a constant in my mind. Most people regard having choices as a good thing, though a severely limited or artificially restricted choice can lead to discomfort with choosing and possibly, an unsatisfactory outcome. In contrast, unlimited choice may lead to confusion, regret of the alternatives not taken, and indifference in an unstructured existence; and the illusion that choosing an object or a course leads necessarily to control of that object or course can cause psychological problems. I don't want to have regrets when my final day has come to an end. As I am typing this I am struggling with a decision that will have enormous consequences. At this stage in my life I am more concerned about whats best for me than what maybe the right thing to do. Considering all the factors, its hard to lean to any one side. Ahhh the paradox of choice. The one thing that God gave us that we may never fully understand. As Neo so eloquently put it, the problem is choice. It is true that we can never see past the choices we make in life, regardless of how much mental processing and critical thinking we do. Damn! I wish I had an Oracle to help me. Come what may, I am determine to make the best of whatever happens.

Once again its the life

Now for my next magic trick...Ima make my life reappear!

People often say that the more things change the more they stay the same. I beg to differ. I think once things change, its sets in motion a chain reaction that ensures that nothing will be the same ever again. Sometimes we fear change. We cling to what we know because we are comfortable with it and because it gives US a sense of belonging. Forget venturing to the greener grass, we don't even want to get near to the fence. I used to be one of those persons, set in my ways. I've always been one to stick to what I know and never roam far from my comfort zone. And to be fair, in many ways I am still that person. I still feel most comfortable in a fresh pair of jeans and button ups. I still analyze and rethink everything I'm about to say when conversing with females. If you did a history report on my life thus far, the one most distinctive feature you'd recognize is that all of my previous relationships have been with virtually the same person, i.e all of my past partners shared similar qualities. The thing is, It was never something that I did Consciously. I guess once you have a type, you stick to it. Well last year I decided to break out of that mould and venture to the other side of the fence. In that one decision to break away and try something new, I have found that it is OK to change. Change the friends you keep. Change the way you speak. Change the way you see the world. I've changed alot over the past year. Inspired by the person that sparked this change, I've become a better person. And while she doesn't get all of the credit, she deserves most of it. In her I see all the things that makes the destination worth the journey. Its been almost a year now and I have never been happier. That's not to say that I haven't encounter any obstacles, but I have found myself to be more resourceful when trying to overcome them. I've been through many different phases like Mazes to find my way but it was all worth it cause now happy days are here to stay.

Embrace change but always remain true to who you are.......

Thank You..for CHANGING my life.

Fakeness

I hate fake people with fake smiles
Your lil fakeness can only last for awhile.
You think you got me fooled cause I let you slide
You'd see jokes on you if you'd only open your eyes.
Keep believing the hype, hiding behind the lies
When the Truth is told I hope you'll survive.
In the meantime relax, and enjoy the ride
When its over you'll still have your fake smiles.